Also, in a decade, I had very rarely met other fans in person. Most of my fanaticism is conducted on-line, where I’ve met and befriended many people- some of my best, longest friends, yet very rarely have I actually met fans in person.
Adam Lambert, who, somehow hasn’t seemed to break into the UK music market with For Your Entertainment, is not as well known over here. I actually barely know any other Glambrits, so this truly was my first time meeting other like-minded people.
I got talking to what appeared to be a family. There was a boy (Macauley @PioneerSuperMac) standing with a beautiful single rose in a thin plastic cover and a large, white envelope, with ‘Adam’ printed neatly across the centre in blue ink. He had an Adam Lambert t-shirt on under his black hoodie; the mum, Michelle, with the feathers in her braid, the dad, Kenny, in an native-Indian looking jumper that vaguely reminded me of the light grey top Tommy sometimes wore in the Glam Nation tour. He had a large ipod in a baby-pink cover, on which he showed me pics of them actually standing with Adam, taken earlier in the day. That was one of the first things I found out- they had already met Adam earlier today. I was vaguely jealous (and mildly alarmed that I had missed that- but I had to reassure myself that I knew he’d be back here again in just an hour). On the next photo, the mum had had her forearm signed. I looked at the patch of black jumper/hoodie which covered that beautiful signature I had seen on the photograph. It was right there, just under the fabric. I never actually saw it in person. And I’d never had known it was there, had they not shown me the photograph.
About half an hour into waiting, I realised that my phone was ringing. I hadn’t actually contacted my Glambert friend since tweeting her at home- but I had been in such a panicked state, I’d exchanged numbers with her and made sure to organise some sort of security can-I-hang-with-you that morning.
But now, as I answered it, a beautiful woman’s voice called me ‘Sapphire’, and I eagerly answered her. She and a friend would be arriving in five minutes by cab. I have her a brief description of myself- I’m in a black, velvet coat. Oh, and I’m wearing a hat! Look of an old-fashioned style black velvet coat and a grey hat!
The building we were waiting in front of was actually a working office building, though a plush, snazzy Central London one with a sparse, clean glass lobby and everything. As we were waiting there- our numbers quickly having risen and settled withing fifteen minutes of my arrival, there were people leaving the building to what I’m sure was the unusual surprise of around thirty people waiting either side of the entrance. I think possibly two dozen employees passed us in over our total two and a half hour wait there. Some, a few, questioned us on why we were there- who we were waiting for. Many didn’t, just passing by with a deep frown of the utmost serious confusion creasing their foreheads. A most amazing sight, how conformed this expression was across all of these faces- maybe they taught it upon employment within the building? You’d have thought they’d been passing a group of people performing lewd acts, or doing something of a general form of distaste. The few who asked us who we were waiting for gave a slightly a slightly more diverse range of expressions when we gave them our answer. We were written off, thought of as slightly loopy, standing in freezing temperatures waiting for an American Talent show contestant to arrive, or they just didn’t get it. And personally, I didn’t blame them, if they hadn’t seen or heard the wealth of Adam’s talent and charisma. But I saw that it annoyed several of the other Glamberts. I remember the comment of ‘Oh, they’re waiting for that X Factor guy’ got quite a bit of up-raw from my friends! A few of the questioning employees would nod their heads blankly, obviously not recognising the name and not bothering to question us further. We were fans, another species of mentality and intelligence entirely, waiting for our idol to appear before us.
The questioning became so irritating, that after a while, after it had turned dark and we were waiting for Adam to emerge outside once again, the mum turned to me and said,
“If another person starts asking us again who we’re here for, I’m turning round and saying, ‘you!’” She leapt towards me with bowing hands. About half an hour previously, the strategy had been to announce that we were worshipping the building.
Years ago, with my very first obsession I went completely off the deep end. From absolute hatred to blind, obsessive love, I spend over three years in a delusion. Very much like the Better Than I Know Myself video, and the two-sided approach to the Trespassing album, I was living in the extreme, and it took me until afterwards to realise how horrifically I had lost myself in obsession, pretty much losing my identity in the process. I vowed never to get like that again. So I turned love into hatred once more.
It’s only been in the last five years or so that I’ve actually reached a respectable balance in my life. Though I always tried to be objective in my obsessions after- taking pains to see my obsessions through the eyes of others- what I look like on the outside, not writing something off without knowing about it. Because I am a person who by default needs an external point of interest to focus on, I doubt I will ever stop developing obsessions, but it has really been in the last five years that I have really taken to a true balance in my life. Not hiding, not overwhelming, not trying to deny that the end was over and overindulging to the point where I was getting completely sick of it, leaving me unable to stand it even years after the obsession had passed. Dark and light, passion and disinterest, reality. It took time to find balance, but it is something which I really appreciate. The Better Than I Know Myself video really rings home to me- even though I was actually to see it for the first time the day after seeing Adam in London, it symbolises the balance that I believe everyone struggles to find and keep to through the madness of every day and exceptional day life.
It’s only been in the last five years or so that I’ve actually reached a respectable balance in my life. Though I always tried to be objective in my obsessions after- taking pains to see my obsessions through the eyes of others- what I look like on the outside, not writing something off without knowing about it. Because I am a person who by default needs an external point of interest to focus on, I doubt I will ever stop developing obsessions, but it has really been in the last five years that I have really taken to a true balance in my life. Not hiding, not overwhelming, not trying to deny that the end was over and overindulging to the point where I was getting completely sick of it, leaving me unable to stand it even years after the obsession had passed. Dark and light, passion and disinterest, reality. It took time to find balance, but it is something which I really appreciate. The Better Than I Know Myself video really rings home to me- even though I was actually to see it for the first time the day after seeing Adam in London, it symbolises the balance that I believe everyone struggles to find and keep to through the madness of every day and exceptional day life.
One of the first things I had also been told in the first five minutes of arriving was that Adam was travelling in a large black mini-bus or mini-van type car. It was apparently cab like, a bit like a limo I thought, but a people-carrier version (we don’t actually have those classic limos in Central London). This was revealed to me as a black stretch-cab passed beside us, pulling up and waiting not five metres down the road, perfectly matching the description as she was giving it. I was looking at it incredulously, not actually getting excited- because fate doesn’t play those sorts of games, but certainly my heart started pumping. Michelle pointed at it and said, ‘just like that one.’ My heart pounded. ‘But that’s not it. Close, but it doesn’t have that name on the back.’
My heart was still pounding, adrenaline making me slightly jittery, as the mini-bus-cab pulled off, a bubbly company logo visibly clear across its back window, and it rejoined the looping Central London traffic. It had heavily tinted windows, the sort you’d see on a celebrity car. Each and every time that (or an identical) car passed us, my heart would start pounding and I’d start getting jittery again, even though I recognised that bloody logo now and knew it wasn’t Adam.
Over an hour of waiting for Adam to arrive, this kept happening over and over again, and I couldn’t help myself from going just slightly loopy from the automatic rush of adrenalin and the natural down as it instantly faded away. I was starting to get extremely frustrated with myself- why could I not stop getting physically excited/anxious every time I caught sight of one of those cabs when I knew it wasn’t Adam.
When Miko arrived I too quickly filled her in about the mini-bus-cab that we were anticipating, and sure enough, just as I was explaining another one of those logo-ed cars pulled up before us in the bright sunshine. I hurriedly continued that this wasn’t the one we were looking for before the two woman got their hopes up.
One thing which possibly made me more jittery than usual was the fact that it was so bone chillingly cold and we were all standing around (myself in high-heeled boots- because they were the most comfortable stylish thing I could grab on my way out the door). We were all suffering the effects of the dropping temperatures, and not moving more than a couple of metres to keep the blood pumping around our extremities took its toll. Within half an hour, I had lost sensation to my toes, and I know that many of the others were in the same situation. Not that anyone was actually complaining seriously -we’d all stand twice as long through this freezing night if we knew we were gonna see Adam, and we had all come prepared for this weather anyway. It wasn’t like it’d suddenly started snowing in the middle of June, we were in the dead of winter. It was all part and parcel of actually going out as a fan, waiting by a door and actually meeting Adam.
I, for one, spent most of my time tap dancing, something which I have no skill at, yet by the end of the night had seemed to develop quite a talent for.
I actually have a skill at drawing, and other fine detail crafts. I’m trying to be an author, and I never studied or really practised art before, but recently I discovered I could shade and I’ve been playing with nail varnishes since I was a girl- just, not on my nails. It’s a little weird, I tend not to share the varnish stuff and I cant get anyone interested in the drawing, but I had brought it to show and give to Adam, so I wanted to share it with other like-minded fans anyway. Whilst I try desperately not to be a show off, I couldn’t stop myself from showing my new friends my artwork whilst we waited. I don’t think it could have been more then ten minutes after my arrival- I’m still a little ashamed at how quickly it was that I was getting them out. But I explained that my painting with nail varnishes has earned me some ridicule and scepticism from pretty much anyone I had shared it with- including friends, so I’ve tended to be quite self-protective when it comes to sharing my varnish work. This was the first time I’ve actually shown it to people publicly. And I must say, thank you, bless you, the responses you gave were so gratifying and wonderful.
The darkness descended, lights started glowing, and the mood perceivably heightened as Central London slipped into night. Five o’ clock approached, came, and went, and still Adam had not come. People started getting excited, the anticipation grew, yet there was also a small cluster of doubt growing within some of us. Someone had checked- there weren’t any reports of Adam being late, he’d tweeted they were on schedule and on time. But we hadn’t seen him. Some were beginning to wonder if possibly, just possibly, Adam had already arrived and had circumvented us. But we knew that wasn’t possible. Adam has such respect for his fans, he always shows up for them, he always gives them his time. Always. He wouldn’t slip round the back way just to avoid us- from everything that I knew about him, his personality and the way he treated his fans, especially from youtube clips, that that wasn’t him. And I actually wasn’t scared or nervous that that had happened. I knew it wasn’t like him, but it was a sort of a ‘what if’ that had to be raised.
A bike currier slipped into the building in full leathers and a completely masking helmet, package in hand. No, not tall enough.
We waited.
And then, the large, black mini-bus car pulled up directly in front of us, and instantly we all knew it was him. For me, it was like an instant understanding, without the dawning of realisation. Like seeing something you already knew on sight, you no longer needed the mechanics of actually recognising it anymore.
We all gathered around it, a slim path cleared up to the building. No one appeared. They waited, we waited, and waited… The door finally slip open and—
— An unusually hairy, light-brown bearded man appeared at the door.
“Hi guys. Sorry; we gotta get in, we’re late for an interview, we’ll be coming back out; we’ll sign on the way out.”
He was visually the polar opposite of who I’d expect to see Adam having round him, and yet- Adam was swivelling round out of his seat behind him; we all nodded and agreed our affirmative to the man, and then- Adam stepped out.
Adam Lambert- in the flesh!
There was an explosion of noise; screams of welcome, trying to get attention, of excitement!
With a glowing smile and a cheery wave, Adam quickly made his way right through us, hesitating at the turning doors as a single someone continued yelling emphatically after the rest of us had died out, and he laughed “I’ll be right back!” as he walked through it and into the building. Once inside, he stood talking (or listening) to whoever it was from Heat that was hosting/conducting whatever it was that he was there for. I think Adam had been given a little talking to by his manager that he couldn’t stop for us as they waited to reveal themselves - or the guy was running through his announcement to make to us. It was like dashing through the rain before resting under shelter. Though brief, Adam was warm, cheerful, and sincerely apologetic that he couldn’t give us his time right then.
One absolutely hilarious thing happened though once he was within, which actually had nothing to do directly with Adam at all. About five or ten minutes before Adam had arrived, the motorbike currier had disappeared within the building - until now.
As Adam chatted inside the building- inside the warmth; the bike currier had emerged into the lobby again and, distracted by the amount of attention this one man was getting, had walked into the turning doors- and become completely stuck within them. He’d pushed himself through the wrong side and it was now locking on him, trapping him within three pieces of glass no more then a metre away from this crowd of at least thirty eager strangers looking right at him! He reversed out, and quickly exited through the ‘normal’ door to the side, slipping off rather sheepishly through the crowd still focused on the building. I may not have realised what was exactly going on when I was there- but the media is a cruel thing, and looking back over other fan footage, his little mistake had been captured for all to see! (It’s the second half of this longer Adam Arrives video by freakyintangible. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=33-pAkePZHE)
I also had had my camera in my hand, set to record video, and once I lost my good view inside the building, glancing at the screen sideways, my arm outstretched over peoples heads, I realised that the entire event of Adam’s arrival I had not actually seen. Just like every single other piece of footage that I had ever watched, I had only seen him on a screen. I hadn’t even looked up to see Adam really there until he was within the building. Behind another glass screen.
And so, once again, we waited. Toes got number, the standard Adam-centric discussions began again, people continued exiting the building looking down furrowed brows at us, we kept happy. We lost a good number of the Glamberts- suddenly mysteriously disappearing (mainly from the left side of the entrance). Miko theorised that they had only intended on seeing Adam, his arrival had been enough that they were done waiting in the cold. That sounded completely ridiculous to the both of us, yet they had disappeared.
To the coffee shop, like any sane, level-headed person would have done, knowing Adam wouldn’t be out in a while. They returned at least half an hour later, all back by the time we were starting to really get anxious in preparation for Adam’s reemergence.
We knew that Adam would be taking over Heat’s twitter feed, hosting a twitter party (why is it that I NEVER can seem to catch one of those in time?), and I started joking that we should tweet him stuff- like, ‘from your fans waiting outside the building for you’. But no one did. Miko could receive Adam’s tweets on her phone, (she’d announced to us five minutes after he’d disappeared within the building that he’d declared, ‘I’ve arrived’- thanks for the warning, there, Adam) but she was unable to send them or really access Twitter properly. I, on my father’s ‘backup mobile’, had no internet whatsoever. Hell, it doesn’t even have a normal pixelated screen.
Finally, about 5:45, 5:50, a bright eyed young man came out of the building and instantly approached us, knowing that we were Adams Fans. He worked within the building- hell, he worked one desk over from where Adam had been tweeting from, and guess what- from his bright exuberant eyes, he was also a fan! Desperately trying to keep it cool, sat at work with Adam Lambert sitting across from him. He was full of exuberance, and assured us that Adam was just finishing up in there, and would be out in just ten minutes or so.
And so he left, and we all stayed there, looking at each other in wonder/awe! Adam was coming!
